Archive for the ‘Manchester United’ category

You can stick your bloody England…

March 29, 2011

I did a blog a few days back after it was made clear that Rio Ferdinand had not only lost the captaincy at England, but he had lost it to the very person who had been stripped of it a year earlier.

Needless to say that any United fan with half a brain would be absolutely appalled at how Rio was treated, probably not surprised, but disgusted none the less. It will forever remain a mystery to me how anyone can support United as well as a team whose players include those that for most of the year you despise, but hey, who am I to question national pride. Apparently Fabio Capello rung Steven Gerrard in regards to the captaincy and told him what was going to happen, as well as discussing it with other players, including of course Captain fucking fantastic himself. Only person he didn’t speak to was the actual England captain, Rio Ferdinand. Imagine how Rio must have felt, to not only lose the captaincy, but be treated with such utter disrespect that he seemingly was the only person who wasn’t told before it was all over twitter and the rest of the internet. If you were Rio, would you stay an England player?

Remember when Rio was given an 8 month ban by the FA for forgetting a drug test (a month longer than Adrien Mutu who actually tested positive to having used Cocaine)? This was despite offering to take it within minutes of it having being scheduled to take place and offering to take a hair test to prove he had not touched any drugs. He hadn’t touched drugs, but lost eight months of his career, the FA screwed him, and we stood by him. John Terry was given the captaincy back because he “had been punished for long enough (ask Wayne Bridge if he agrees) and England needed a captain that was consistently in the team”. Of course since that was said Terry has been excused from Tuesday’s friendly against Ghana and England is instead being captained by Gareth Barry (who wasn’t good enough to play in the match that actually mattered). Capello, England and the FA have screwed Rio, and once again, we’re the ones who are sticking by him.

Rio will be 33 later this year, it’s time he realised he should spend the rest of his career concentrating on the team, and the fans, who have stood by him. Like Rio said, “Build you up to knock you down, this is England”. Interpret that how you may want, but it’s quite fitting isn’t it?


Sil, x


Four Big (little) Shining stars

March 20, 2011

We all know that if we win the Premiership this season, it’s not going to be on the grounds of playing the Manchester United way that we were spoilt with watching in say 1999. We’ve been rubbish, and luckily for us, we have been that bit less rubbish than the other teams in the league. What really annoys me though is that a lot of fans seem too focused complaining about most of our first eleven that they forget about the good ones, the little bright stars in our side that are the proof that although we may not be the best team in the world at the moment, there is no reason whatsoever that we can’t return to being a team that oozes sex appeal.

Since the nineties we’ve shown time and time again that we desperately buy all that is young (ish) and somewhat unknown in the hopes that we may find the next big thing. Whilst some of them have come good, with the memory of Kleberson and Djemba-Djemba fresh in mind it’s hard to expect anything but mediocrity, and we’re all too old and clever now to think our manager and his team of (possible alcohol dependent) scouts never get it wrong. However, we’ve been a bit spoilt this year as four of our young, bright players have been shining bright despite a vast majority of the squad having disappeared into a black hole for the majority of our matches.

How fucking cute are they in their suits eh? I admit I wasn’t very excited when we signed the twins back in 2007, in fact I pretty much didn’t give them much thought until they joined us in Manchester in 2008 and even then I’d pretty much decided that there would be more excitement around the confusion the twins could cause rather than how decent they may be for us. They both came with a lot of promise, but you know how it goes, the next big “it” ends up being the next new tit (in this case x identical pair of DD’s). I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy about being wrong. Not only can they defend, despite having a lot to learn, they can go down the wing, and they have passion, flair and buckets of talent and personality. We should probably have considered giving one of them a hair cut or something of course, just to avoid Fabio getting booked in his brother’s place again, but it seems the subtle differences have been picked up on by one and all now.

Rafael, I think he probably made his way into all our hearts when he showed Tevez in no uncertain terms how he felt about him this last November. I realise that some people are worried that Rafael lacks the ability to control his temper, but he is young, and he is passionate. Whilst restraint comes with age I really hope he never loses that passion, because he wouldn’t be the exciting player he is if he did. In a time when most footballers don’t care about much past the amount of zeros on their pay check, seeing someone loving the game so much that it makes him a bit crazy makes me tingle all over. Fabio, who was tipped to be the more talented brother by some, has had some injury problems, including needing surgery on his shoulder, but he’s still had the time to score a hat-trick for the reserves and is making his way into the first team. They remind me of young puppy dogs, they may look cute and fluffy, and their energy and play makes it hard to look away, but don’t piss them off, as I wouldn’t be surprised to see them biting at ankles.

It may be a bit strange to some to include a central defender in a blog which lead with the notions about the return of football with sex appeal (maybe you don’t remember parts of the nineties), but it’s no use scoring five screamers every game if you’re letting in just as many. Again, I admit I was beyond sceptical when we signed Chris Smalling. I mean, the kid had hardly played for Fulham, and we all know just how difficult good, young defenders are to come by. However I now happily put him conceding a penalty in his first (friendly) appearance for United as a fluke after having watched his run in the first team. Yes he has made some mistakes, but so does every defender on our books, just look at Rio and his “too busy Tweeting/thinking about what bling to buy next” moments, if any top defender has his moments of being “merked” it’s him. Smalling is going to be 22 later this year. 22 and he already plays like he has the confidence to be a defender for Manchester United. A lot of seasoned defenders couldn’t do that (*cough*Mikael Silvestre*cough*). Defenders get better with age, some still being able to play at top form well into their thirties. I don’t know if it’s because I used to play defence as a kid, but I love a good defender, and the thought of Smalling developing like he should, and could excites me.

Now, you all know how the saying goes, save the best for last? Javier fucking Hernandez. When we signed Chicharito, I actually did dare to believe that this was a good signing right off the bat. You just have to look at the kid to know he’s special, and he is proving that he is. Not only is he cute as a fucking button and would fit in your pocket, but he has bags of talent and he loves playing for Manchester United. Maybe he just loves playing football in general, but he actually looks like being at United makes him feel so fucking special that he shines like a little star. I just hope that he keeps getting his chances in the first team, rather than him and Berbatov being alternated whilst the ever inconsistent “wished he played for City” Rooney could take a gun to the gaffer’s head and still get picked.

We’ve also got Nani (getting there), Valencia (love) and (maybe) Anderson who show a lot of promise and increasing consistency for us. We’re not a bad side, we just need to start playing like a team again, and I hope before we make any more signings, we send the current squad on a survival camping/team building trip so they can start looking like they know who the person next to them is, and maybe even learn to string a decent pair of passes together. In the meanwhile, at least we have the twins, Chicharito and Smalling to keep our spirits up.

Sil, x

Looking forward, United meets Bolton

March 19, 2011

We’ve been pretty lucky as fans these last two matches, we’ve actually played a good game of football, two games in a row no less, and we need to keep that up. I know, stating the fucking obvious.

When it comes down to it, I would love to win the Champions League and the FA Cup, but truthfully, if we don’t win the league, it’ll mean fuck all. Winning the European Cup doesn’t always mean you’re the best team in Europe. Look at Liverpool the last time they won it, they weren’t even near being the best team in England never mind Europe. The league always means the most, I’d love to win in Europe too, but not without the league.

I really hope we win today, I hope we play convincingly and I hope we can keep the confidence going as god only knows we’re going to need it in the run in. But more than anything I do just want the three points. Yes I would rather win playing beautiful football, but I would also rather win playing alright than lose whilst trying to make the game look like an act from Swan Lake.

Also a little birdie (more like a whole swarm of bees) on Twitter said that Owen Hargreaves is supposed to be fighting for a spot on the bench today. Now I hope Hargreaves gets back in the game, I really do. But I do not think he should be anywhere near the bench till he’s at least played a few matches for the reserve team. I’m all for good old curly hair, but there’s no point wasting two out of three substitutes so that he can get five minutes. Harsh? Not really. Just given up being optimistic when it comes to Mr Curly Hair, hell I’m shocked he even fucking exists.

Sil, x

P.s. I’m typing this from my phone, so apologies for any bad grammar or spelling. And the shortness of the blog.

The luck of the draw? United v Chelsea

March 18, 2011

I remember being about thirteen and watching the Champions League draw and being more excited than a kid at Christmas. Who would you get and where would you play was one of the highlights of the European season. Now it’s more of a snore fest of an occasion as you sit through a badly scripted speech that goes on forever, usually made by someone whose English is as good as my school German (which after five years of studying it, is really fucking poor), before we have to sit through a “draw” which rarely holds any surprises. I’m paranoid you say? Am I fuck. The UEFA are as crooked as a Russian billionaire who sips cocktails with the KGB.

I’m not scared of facing Chelsea, not by any means; I know we’re fully capable of beating them. It’s not about bad memories either, as let’s face it, they’ll have more of those than we do, especially John “Fucked up the penalty as I was too busy thinking about screwing Wayne Bridge’s missus” Terry. Firstly I fancied a European side, because it’s a European cup. I like going to Old Trafford on the tram with crazy Italians or Spanish people at the other end of the carriage yelling things that no one can understand. Secondly I like playing a European match and not having people talking about how it’s going to be revenge for losing in the league. Revenge for what? Chelsea being lucky, dirty twats, who, despite beating us, have no chance at winning the league? Chelsea hasn’t registered on the radar this side of Christmas; they’ve screwed themselves out of trophies. We don’t need to beat them to get revenge; we need to beat them because if we don’t, we’re out of the Champions League, and as much as the league is what really matters, we all know how much going out of the European Cup hurts.

When it comes down to it, Chelsea aren’t better than we are. We’re top of the league; they’re fighting to get a Champions League spot. The Champions League is the one competition they think (!) they have a chance at winning, which despite Ray Wilkins deluded ideas of their overrated grandeur, is wishful thinking on a good day. And I’m talking winning the lottery, getting a gold plated toilet in a raffle, having Beyonce on your arm and singlehandedly finding a cure for AIDS and cancer good fucking day. Chelsea aren’t a top European side, we’re not playing a great season either of course, but we are a better side than they are, theoretically so good that we have a chance of the treble. Please note that I said theoretically though, I’m an optimistic fan and all, but I’m not deluded.

The real reasons why I don’t want to play Chelsea though? They bore me to tears to start with, you get more entertainment from watching snails race over a road than watching them. At least with a snail race on a road you know you’ll see blood (well, slime), tears and passion. Secondly I hate Chelsea fans. Yes I know one or two people who support Chelsea and are decent people, but mostly? No. They’re racist, rude, threatening little bullies who pick on women and kids and sing songs about Munich on busy trains. That’s based on personal experiences, not me generalizing fans. So I don’t just want to beat them because I want to get to the next stage of the cup, I want to win because there is nothing I enjoy more than watching a 24 stone, bald, middle aged, Nazi saluting, thinks John Terry is a good guy, dickhead cry like a baby.

Sil, x

Arsenal match preview… sort of

March 12, 2011

So I guess this is the time of the season that may be referred to as “squeaky bum time” eh? Only in my case it’s more, spend a majority of most matches either breathing into a paper bag or get through a 20pack of cigarettes (obviously not when at Old Trafford). I love the fact that I still feel like a kid about football.

Every match that I go to or watch on the TV, I’m like a kid at Christmas, watching your team play, it just doesn’t get any better than that. At least that’s how I feel before kick off, once the whistle signals the start I feel more like the old drunk who works as Santa at Christmas and scares the kids because he keeps getting the shakes if he doesn’t have a sip of his special coffee every so often. I’m feeling really fucking nervous about the Arsenal match; I’ve got to admit as much. A lot is going to depend on those ninety minutes (please just ninety minutes, last thing we need is a bloody replay at the Library version 2.0). We need to win, not just to go through in the cup but to knock Wenger’s boys confidence even further, and not to mention get our confidence back after the last two matches of “football”. I don’t make football predictions, as I’ve mentioned before, however the one thing I will predict is that if we lose this match that could have a worse effect on our title hopes than losing to the dippers and the rent boys.

Anyhow, I’m not going to do an in-depth preview here, to be perfectly honest I’m nervous enough about our injuries without writing about them and starting to think about them in the middle of the fucking night when really I should be getting my beauty sleep. Instead I’m going to leave you with the below happy memory of Giggsy’s goal against Arsenal in the semis in ’99.

Vieeeeira, wooooah

Vieeeeira, Wooooah

He gave Giggsy the ball

And Arsenal won FUCK ALL

Come on reeeds

Sil, x

Football Sucks

March 6, 2011

So I started writing a blog, but I ended up sounding quite serious and like I was actually attempting to be a serious football blogger, as if that’s me.

It’s quite obvious that I’m not going to be in a good mood right now. I feel like I’ve had my heart ripped out and trod on by a pack of ogres, which ironically is what a lot of the Liverpool players look like they’re related to. I did a post to cheer people up after Tuesday, but I’m not going to try and do that now. Why, you may ask? Because there’s no way of getting cheered up losing to Liverpool in the way we did.

This isn’t about the league, we’re still top and Arsenal have to play their match in hand at the Lane against Spurs, I’m not concerned about the league. It is about having your heart ripped out, stepped on and spat on. Actually, that would probably hurt less. Losing to Liverpool isn’t just losing, it’s not about losing the three points that will help secure our 19th title and it’s not something you can take on the chin, not the way we played today.

Carragher’s challenge on Nani was horrendous, yes. One of the goals may have been offside, maybe at a red tinted stretch. The Liverpool goals were scored because we fucked up, not because they had a brilliant game. However, when it comes down to it, we were embarrassing today. Pathetically so. Our midfield made me cringe. Our defensive mistakes made me hide behind my green and gold scarf. We didn’t turn up today, and we should have done. We should have wanted it more. We should have fucking wanted it at all.

What pisses me off almost as much though would be the comments I’ve seen some United fans make. We were shit, and we’re all hurt and disappointed because of it, but turning off the match? Giving up on the league? Fucking come on. Are you the same people who make fun of Chelsea fans and their tendency to boo their team? The same people who complain about fans leaving early when we’re winning (or even losing) at Old Trafford? Because turning off today would have been as bad as leaving early or booing your team. You support your team through thick and thin, you don’t pick and chose. I’d hate to see what some of you would do if we dropped out of the top five or if in years from now we get relegated. It’s alright to get upset, it’s alright to be pissed off, I feel sick to my stomach after today, I really do, but let’s be honest, we’ve been shit all season and we’ve lost THREE matches and we’re top of the league. Most fans would give their right leg to have their team be in our position.

There is one bright spark in the post apocalyptic black out though, that boy Chicharito. The only reason I’ve not finished a bottle of Vodka by now.

I’m going to go take my aggression out on the Xbox now; I’ll be back to my cheerier and more entertaining posts soon. Promise.

Sil, x

Dippers against the devils

March 6, 2011

And why I don’t blog it seriously.

Now I read a fair few footballing blogs, mainly United ones, and my favourite one is a pretty serious one by a die hard fan which includes tons of news and crazy amounts of brilliant statistics, but I’d like to point out that it’s quite obvious that I am not trying to be like that.

I do serious all day long in life, why should I do it on here as well. There is a reason why a majority of sports blogs or blogs in general, don’t do very well. They’re all the fucking same. Do something original, be yourself, and stop trying to copy what made everyone else do really well, because it may not work for you, and if it does, you’re nothing put a poor copy cat anyhow. Thus endeth that rant.

Now, why don’t I do serious blogs on football you may ask? Have I not got the knowledge? Do I fuck. Have I not got the vocabulary skills? I could write sentences so beautiful it would make you come in your pants. I just chose not to. I write this blog first and foremost for my own amusement and because it makes me happy, if it amuses one or two other people as well, fucking great, but I’m not in it to become the next big football, music or god forbid sex agony aunt blogger out there. In short, I am not doing a serious blog on United’s match against Liverpool tomorrow, because every other blogger out there would have been busy doing it, and I think you lot deserve better than to be bored TO DEATH by the same shit over and over again.

I’m not doing any predictions for tomorrow (technically later today) as quite frankly, I fucking jinx us when we do. Last time I made a prediction we lost to Arsenal a few years back. Yeah, that was my fault. Sorry. I’m not going to discuss the team news, not going to discuss the statistics of previous meetings and I am certainly NOT going to discuss our last matches or any head to heads or whatever the fuck. Instead I’m just going to say a simple prayer.


“Our Eric that is in New York,

Hallowed be your name,

You who Kung-Fu’ed to make your fans happy,

Your will shall most certainly be done

At Anfield as it was at Old Trafford

Give us this day another Berbatov hatrick,

And no yellow cards for passion,

Although the Scouse bastards still haven’t forgiven Neville,

Lead us towards our 19th title,

And knock Liverpool well and truly off their fuckin’ perch

For this still isn’t their year,

In the name of Scholes, Giggs and Fergie,

For ever and ever,




Sil, x

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