Archive for September 2010

Please, Bully My Kids

September 17, 2010

jamie oliver

Now, I’m a big fan of individuality. People should be able to express themselves as they like, dress how they like and whatever else they want as long as it’s not (too) illegal or discriminatory. I draw the line at taking that individuality out on your children though.

I’m far from Jamie Oliver’s biggest fan. To be honest whenever I see his smug face on the tube I feel like punching his holier than though face through the beautiful HD screen, thankfully I love my TV more than I despise him. I really do feel the need to tell him though; you don’t have to give your children stupid names just to make them special.

Your kids are going to be bullied mate, at some point in their life, they will have other kids ridiculing them, not because their dad’s the bloke who’s making English kids eat decent food (one thing I can’t fault him for, still hate the smug cunt though) but because their names are inspired by the Teletubbies.

Poppy Honey, Daisy Boo, Petal Blossom Rainbow and now the latest edition: Buddy Bear. Really, Jamie, you hate your children that much?

Sil, x

Porn is bad, mmmkay?

September 8, 2010

no porn

So apparently the think tank 2020health.org has decided that NHS trusts who supply porn to men providing sperm samples when they are involved in an IVF treatment are encouraging “adultery of the mind.” Basically, when you have a wank for science, you should be thinking about your missus, the one you’re struggling to get pregnant with and which is probably stressing you out.

Porn is bad. It encourages adultery of the mind. What a load of complete and utter shite. I don’t know a single male and very few females who do not enjoy watching porn, either on their own or with partners, some mainly on their own. Does that mean their all being adulterous mentally? No, at the risk of sounding clinical, it means they use sexual images to achieve some sort of sexual gratification. So what if they flick through a magazine or watch a porn film as to make it easier to provide a sperm sample in the middle of a hospital surrounded by people who know you’re having a wank in the next room, it’s hardly the end of the world, hell chances are they have their own stash at home in the form of magazines (check), DVDs (check) or films or link to porn sites on their computer (check and check). It’s just pornography, as long as it isn’t something illegal, there’s nothing wrong with it.

Maybe the woman who was responsible for releasing the survey results, of which I have no interest in going through because they make me yawn, a lot just has issues. Maybe she just doesn’t like people coming because her own short comings.

Sil, x

Rooney, you twat.

September 5, 2010

image

Wanker, wanker, wanker, cunt. May seem like I have fashionable Tourettes, but sadly I’m just fucked the hell off.

There has been rumours going around for months about Wayne Rooney having had an affair with a prostitute whilst his wife was pregnant with their kid. Last I saw it had hit the Sunday Mirror and the News (stiffles laughter) of the World, I’m not intending to look for any further stories.

To say I’m disappointed would be an understatement. To say I feel like punching a hole in the wall would be nowhere near the damage I would actually like to inflict on the world. I’m embarrassed. I feel sick. I’m pissed off. I’m gutted. I’m heartbroken.

The thought that Rooney would do something like this to his pregnant wife sickens me, and I hope to God she leaves his sorry ass for doing something so stupid. However, selfish, what I wish more than anything is that this don’t affect the team. I can in time forgive Rooney for doing something that horrible to his wife and then unborn baby. I can forget the fact that he didn’t just do it once, but several times. However if you let this fuck your season up, and this costs us our shot at the league, I will personally hunt you down and cut your cock off with a sharpened spoon.

Still, except from the selfish part of me, I’m just really, really gutted, and I feel like a five year old who has just found out their idol killed Barney.

Sil, x


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