Archive for April 2010

Top 10 unattractive qualities, men

April 29, 2010

1. Vanity. I like men who look after themselves, I love how men smell, I love it when their hair is soft and I want to run my fingers through it at any given opportunity. I do NOT love it when you spend more time in front of a mirror than I do, or your muscles are bigger than your brains. Flexing your arms and blowing kisses at the mirror? Guess it’s just you and your hand tonight, mate.

2. No confidence. Now I have been known to be attracted to arrogant men in the past. Christ knows I’ve made some mistakes when it comes to that, but truth be told, I LOVE a confident man. I love a bloke who knows that I’ll be looking at him when he walks through the room, and I love a man who knows I want him. I do not like a bloke who cannot bring himself to look me in the eyes because he’s too busy hiding in his shell because “nobody likes him”. Also fake arrogance to cover up the lack of confidence, not sexy.

3. Jealousy. I should think that everyone likes their other halves to be a bit jealous, after all insecurity often deems us to believe that partners who never get jealous just don’t care at all (guilty of being accused of that. Several times). However there’s jealousy, and then there’s we’re never leaving the house because if another man as much as looks at you I will have to kill him. Seriously mate, if I’m going home with you, be happy about that, if you don’t trust me, you don’t deserve me. It is that simple.

4. Unable to control your stare. Now I’m quite… how to put this delicately… oh fuck it, I have big tits. I walk down the street, blokes stare at my tits, that’s life. However if we’re out on a date and you spend the whole night staring at my tits rather than getting to know me, don’t expect a second date, and do not expect a blowjob as a thanks for the lovely night. I’d rather go home to my sex toys who I know love me for me, rather than the size of my chest. I’m not saying you can’t look at my tits, I’m just saying, I’ve got other body parts too, ones that you’ll never get to see or touch.

5. Dutch courage, gone mad. Now I don’t mind if you need to have a drink before you get the courage to go up to a girl, there’s nothing wrong with it. However it is incredibly unattractive to be sat chatting with your friends and some bloke pissed out of his had comes over and starts drooling whilst telling you he thinks you’re hot and then tries to snog you. Sorry mate, I aint going to be the girl whose name you can’t remember in the morning. I’m out of your league, and quite frankly I doubt it you could even get your sad excuse of a cock semi hard.

6. Sexism. Now I believe in looking after my man (or woman), I’ll cook for you and I’ll give you head when you’ve had a hard day at work, but you do NOT treat me like I’m worth less than you. I am (at least) just as smart as you and I am capable of anything you can and more (multiple orgasms springs to mind). Tell me to shut up, assume all I care about is that I look pretty for you or make demeaning comments about me in front of your mates and I promise you, you’ll be out of the picture quicker than a hooker robs a John who won’t pay.

7. You can’t make me come, or refuse to be told how to. I promise you that I will make you come hard and then beg for more, but I also promise that if you don’t make me moan, you’ll be spending months trying to find someone who can make you feel how I did. Some blokes need help when it comes to making a girl orgasm, that’s fair enough, I am more than willing to tell you just how to leave me shaking from pleasure if you can’t figure it out for yourself. What I am not willing to do is lay on my back whilst you hump me like a limp dog. Sorry mate, but if you can’t and won’t make me scream, don’t let the door hit your naked ass as I throw you out.

8. Hitting on every girl in the club. Oh please, like I am going to have any wannabe WAG’s sloppy seconds.

9. Showing everyone who I belong to. I don’t mind holding your hand, I may even give you a kiss if you behave, but I am not a big fan of public affection. Don’t go grabbing my ass and showing your tongue down my throat every fucking time you think another bloke is checking me out. Feel me up because you fancy me, not because you’re marking your territory like a rampant puppy.

10. Cheating. Don’t cheat on me. It’s like being in an antique shop, you can look but you can’t touch, and if you break anything, I will make you pay. Now I don’t really do relationships and commitment to one person, however if you expect me to play nice and not go off with someone else, I’d expect the same from you, because I promise you, if I end up with Chlamydia because you shagged some slag, if the next week I’m hitting on you… it’s only because I’m very vengeful and have something mean in mind.

Other turn offs include looking at other girls, but not admitting to it if you get caught (I don’t care if you look mate, but grow a pair eh, or at least let me have a look as well), never putting me first (I promise besides from football, I’ll prioritise you to a degree), trying to control me or thinking that no means yes. When I say something, you can count on it being exactly what I’m thinking, so don’t go generalising me and claim that women always say the opposite of what they mean. Oh, and never assume I’m like all other women, because I promise you, you’ve never met anyone quite like me.

Sil, x

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Top 10 unattractive qualities, women

April 29, 2010

1. Being needy. Now whilst I find men being needy slightly attractive (only slightly), women being needy is a completely different matter. I’m not talking need a hug when they’re feeling down, there’s nothing wrong with that, I’m talking being out with a group of people but if you do not give me continual attention I will get pissed off kind of needy. I mean seriously, develop a personality and talk to someone besides your better half.

2. Orange legs. Ok, so perhaps this isn’t really a quality as such, it’s more of a looks issue. However it shows that you would rather look like a peeled orange ( mainly orange in colour but with some white lines and dots scattered around) than be confident enough to be proud of your pale legs. Or bother to put on a pair of tights. A side point to this is women who wear too much make up. Now I wear a lot of make up, I like it, but I know how to wear it. If your face looks like the work of a face painter at a kid’s party, it’s too much.

3. Dumbing yourself down. If you think that a man, or woman, will only be attracted to you if you’re dumber than them, then you’re an idiot. It’s the 21st century girls, there’s nothing wrong with being clever, and stupid women is a turn off. Even page three girls know how to read these days.

4. Flirting with girls when you’re straight, and you are only doing it for attention. That just fucks me off, of course if you’re a straight girl (most of the time) I don’t have a chance with you anyhow, but do not rub up against me and feel me up just to give your fella a hard on love. I may have to smack you.

5. Arguing for the sake of it. Love, if you need attention that badly (look point one) then put on a short skirt or a low cut top, least that way you can get attention without the rest of us having to listen to you argue over the fact that your fella don’t like the shade of nail varnish you’re wearing. Men generally don’t care what colour your nails are honey, as long as you can scratch them down his back when you’re fucking.

6. Arrogance (thanks to the person who reminded me to put this unattractive quality on the list). Now I admit that I can come across as quite an arrogant person (which I am often reminded of), but truth be told I am a very confident person. I am confident in who I am as a person and the skin I’m in. I do tend to think I’m always right, which may be a bit arrogant, but I can admit when I’m wrong. The sort of arrogance I’m talking about is the girls who look down at you because you chose not to get the fake nails, hair extensions and false eyelashes, just to go down to the fucking shop for a pint of milk. Confidence is sexy, thinking you’re the best thing since sliced bread when really you’re just a more stupid version of the plastic fantastic Katie Price, so not hot.

7. Pretending to be someone else. Now I’m not talking dressing up as a naughty nurse pretend, obviously, as that’s hot (on the right girl, of course), I’m talking about the schizophrenia some girls seem to develop around men (and sometimes women). Don’t pretend you go to church because you have a crush on the cute Christian boy at work, don’t pretend you can play the guitar because you overheard the fit mate of your brother saying what a turn on girls who love rock is. Just don’t pretend. If a bloke doesn’t like you for who you are, he’s not going to like you for who you’re not, and nor will I. Besides, there’s plenty of us who’d love to go to that Maiden concert he’d be wasting a ticket on you for.

8. Bitching. What is it with women and not growing up when it comes to slagging off other women. Now I may have, at times, said something bitchy about someone, but you better believe I said it to them first. Sitting in the corner with your girlfriend slagging off the girl who’s chatting to the boys in the group because she’d rather talk about football and sex than make up and what’s happened on “Desperate Housewives” is just sad. And I can promise you, that if your boyfriend’s talking to that girl (that would be me), it’s not you he’ll be thinking about when getting off tonight, by himself no less as you’re too busy on the phone to your girlfriend slating my outfit because I don’t dress like a pretty little bimbo.

9. Talking to me during football matches. Look boys, you’ve all been there right, the girl who wants your attention when you’re trying to watch your team. “You love those fucking players more than you love me.” Hell yes I do, and I’ll tell you why, they understand my passion. You don’t.

10. Inability to comprimise. If you want me to have dinner with your air head friends, then yes you should spend the evening with me and my mates in the pub. If you want me to have dinner with your parents, who by the way hate me, then you should put up with my family (even when I don’t). If you want to go on a holiday, I’ll lay on the beach with you, but not for a straight week. You gotta give as well as you take love, or I’ll find someone who does.

Other qualities that turn me right off are genuine stupidity (may not be your fault you’re a bit on the dim side, but I want someone who I can talk to about more than the outfits at the Oscar’s), vanity to the point of looks being everything you care about and not being able to cook or look after yourself. The last point may be old fashioned, but women should be able to cook, it’s just one of those things. If you don’t know how to put on a stove, I won’t be going near you any time soon.

Sil, x

Pope condoms?

April 26, 2010

Now I’m not a woman of faith. Unless you count United, which is the only religion I am likely to ever have. I have no issues with other people’s faith, but it’s not for me, I am not capable of believing in things I cannot touch or I do not know to exist, and find religion often is at the root of problems rather than being a solution Plus, if there is a God, quite frankly, he’s a fucking twat.

Now, if you have picked up a paper in the last month, even the rags that are the Sun or the Mirror, you will know that there will be a visit from the pope in the not too distant future, the first to take place in 28 years. Now I have a huge issue with Catholicism. Between abusive priests, the refusal to aid in the prevention of AIDS and the refusal to accept the taking place of the Holocaust (I mean for fuck’s sake, how bloody narrow minded can one religious establishment be?) it is my firm belief that an institution that refuses to be of service to the modern world does not have a place in such a world. Now I’m not tarnishing the entire Catholic world with the same brush, there are plenty of Catholics who condemn their establishment, who respect other religions and who do not believe that their church has always been in the right when behaving in their usually cowardly manner.

Now firstly there were the news breaking that leading atheist Richard Dawkins supported actions to have the pope arrested on arrival in the United Kingdom for crimes against humanity, an initiative led by Christopher Hitchens. Although a slightly amusing notion, this was never going to happen, lets face it, Osama Bin Laden could go walking down the streets of London and people probably wouldn’t bother to have him arrested. Then the Taliban with all of their terrorism have not caused the deaths that the Aids epidemic in Africa are claiming and will continue to claim.

Now back on point, before I get too serious and depressive, today we learned that the young civil servant who circulated a “disrespectful” document in regards to items to be considered for the pope to perform when visiting Britain is Steven Mulvain, a 23-year old Oxford graduate. Now I am not a very politically correct person. I make jokes that people who don’t know me probably would take as rather offensive, although I do tend to be careful so I do not make these jokes in front of people who may be offended, or how I see it, do not have the intelligence to find society amusing rather than depressive to the point of making you want to slit your wrists, after having shot yourself in the knee caps whilst forcing yourself to watch Strictly Come Dancing reruns.

The memo, which was given the all clear by a senior civil servant (I’m guessing he wasn’t a Tory), was sent to Downing Street as well as three Whitehall departments and had some absolutely brilliant suggestions in it, very tongue in cheek, who I for one is over the moon made the news.

Now one of the suggestions, I actually think is an absolutely brilliant idea, the launching of a range of “Benedict” condoms. Quite frankly, I think that may endear the Catholic church to the rest of society at a time when the church is facing a lot of criticism. Opening an abortion clinic may be more moronic than it is funny. As I have said before, despite my disagreements with many religious establishments, especially the Catholic church, I do not think that if this suggestion was made in even a partly serious manner should it ever have been mentioned in writing. I think abortion is a choice all women should have, Catholic, Muslim or atheist, but I also think, despite being pro-abortion, this one suggestion was not made to be funny or is even Un-PC, it’s just childish and a little bit desperate.

I can’t really imagine Pope Benedict XVI blessing a gay marriage either. To be honest it seems that men in power in the Catholic church seem to like to keep their gay preferences a secret and take their closet homosexuality out on choir boys, so I doubt it Benny is going to openly admit that he do enjoys a bit of man on man action. After all, people are only going to assume he too is a paedophile, when lets face it, he had enough bad press when it came out that he was a Hitler Jugend.

Personally I think that the English government, whomever that may be when the Pope is schedueled to visit (although lets face it, we may by then be living in anarchy taken from scenes of the Mad Max trilogy) should ban the pope from visiting. The English state church is not Catholic, nor has it been in half a millenium (long live crazy royals) and although a percentage of the English people are catholic, in my eyes the pope is no better than a terrorist and until he is willing to accept responsibility for his people, which includes helping to aid the end of the AIDS epidemic in Africa rather than aid the spreading of the illness as well as admitting to his churches wrong doings he should not be let into the country.

Personally I’m all for locking him up in a room with his sick, sex-deprived priests till he realises just where he’s been going wrong.

Sil, x

Why do men call women whores

April 26, 2010

Despite those men having had more sexual partners than the women they claim are sluts?

There’s one thing I have never understood about men, and that’s how they can never deal with women who have a sexual appetite similiar to their own, or have had the same amount or more sexual partners than them. Now I’m not saying all men are like that, I know plenty of men who think that equality for women shouldn’t end in having equal opportunities when it comes to work and rights, but also when it comes to their personal life. However, I do know men who think women sleeping with a long list of men or doing things that they may not approve of means they are whores, and these men are usually the ones who love a feminist or just strong minded women who know what they want.

I don’t get it myself. Considering we live in the 21st century, women should be able to do whatever they please as long as their not hurting someone? Just because we don’t have a cock, that means we don’t have the right to sleep with who we like or have sex where and when we please? I had a conversation with a really good friend of mine a while back about why he thought women who may have done the same as he has in the past were whores, and his arguments were less than convincing. Because women get emotional and they have someone inside them rather being the one inside someone seemed to be the recurring theme, which I didn’t get then, and I still do not get now. Going by the latter argument gay men who have a lot of sexual partners are therefore whores, whilst lesbian women can sleep with hundreds of women yet not be promiscuous, right?

I admit that to a lot of women emotion does tend to be tied in with sex, yet I made the point of asking my friend that as a woman who does not get emotionally attached to sexual partners, does that mean I can sleep with hundreds of men and not be a whore, whatever I do? However apparently I would still be a slut, despite not being emotionally attached, and I am really struggling to understand why and I admit it has rather been nagging me because it just makes me realise just how sexist men still are.

I have not had hundreds of sexual partners, I’m quite picky and have always been very picky, one night stands have never really appealed to me because I like to know who it is I’m in bed with. I have still had above the average of sexual partners in a life time for a women, despite only being in my mid twenties, and I lost my virginity at a very early age, but I don’t think that makes me more slutty than the girl who held out for “the one” and only had sex after turning 21 because she thought she’d met him and she ended up getting her heart broken (tough luck that, but men will be men, and lets face it, they don’t cope well with women who don’t put out, whether they’re in love or not).

So what if I’ve had threesomes, or had sex in a church or on a bus or at a party or whatever, does that mean I’m more of a whore than girls who only does it missionary, in the dark, in their own bed? Thing is, men love the idea of girls like me. They love the girls who’d do the (supposedly) dirty stuff, who’re confident about their sexuality and know what they want, whether that means giving you a blow job in the car or having sex in the toilets at your friends party because you can’t wait to get home (and so what if your fella’s mate wants to join in as well). Most men love the idea of that girl, at least most men I’ve ever known, but then I suppose I may very well attract a certain type of men. However, most men cannot handle that kind of girl. They get jealous because we flirt, or because we talk too much about sex, with other people. I’ve asked most of the men I know how big their cocks are, hell I even look at blokes I pass in the street to see if I can guess how big they are. If you’re going to stare at my tits, it’s only fucking fair. I don’t think I’m particularly “dirty”, I just think I know what I want, and I guess I behave like a bloke a lot of the time, or so I’ve been told, but I just think I’m a modern woman.

I don’t think that there’s no such thing as slutty girls, if you’re sleeping with a new bloke every weekend, you don’t remember any of their names and you’re not using protecting, then you’re a slut, you’re also a complete idiot. But if a bloke does the same, then he is ALSO a whore. You cannot tarnish one sex with a big fat paint brush, then paint a pretty picture with a skinny brush in acrylics with the other. It’s 2010, and if women are supposedly equals, that’ll have to go for everything, and I reckon it’s about time that all blokes got on board with that idea, because pretty soon, if you don’t, the girlies are only going to be going for the boys who’re not going to want to burn them at the stake.

Sil, x

Sex

April 23, 2010

See I know for a fact that the items I post about sex get so many more hits than my other blog entries do (yes I AM sad enough to look at my stats, but purely from an investigative point of view of course) so I figured if I titled an entry “sex” it’s bound to draw you in. Don’t worry, I am actually going to talk about sex, I’m not just doing it to get more hits to my blog.

So I was thinking, whilst having a cigarette and drinking my wine way too quickly (usually not a big fan of wine, but these lovely spring evenings we’re having made me fancy it), whether sex is better with someone you love than when it’s with someone you’re not in love with. Now I realise that maybe it doesn’t sound like a very interesting thing to be thinking about, but when something pops into my head, no matter what it is, it won’t leave said head until I’ve discussed the issue with myself, so I figured I may as well do it on here.

I’ve had endless amounts of people tell me how much better sex is when two people are in love, some people have been previous sexual partners, some are just friends. Now whilst talking of previous partners, one was in love with me whilst I wasn’t in love with him and he said that it was better for him because he loved me. We did have great sex, some of the best nights ever was spent with him (and sometimes not just him), but although I’m pretty good in bed, I doubt it that it was better for him just because he had some feelings that I didn’t.

I’d say that having sex with someone you love may be a lot better than some nights spent with random one night stands, usually sex is better with someone you have known for a lengthy period of time because you both know what the other wants and enjoys. You know you click, you know what’s what and there’ll be no nasty surprises (like his cock’s the size of a thumb, major downside if that happens eh), but I don’t think love comes into the equation. Maybe if you love someone you try harder to satisfy them, whilst if you don’t you’re not really fussed if you don’t make him/her scream from pleasure?

I just don’t see how love can make you better sexual partners. Maybe I don’t particularly understand love, most people that know me know how cynical I am about falling in love, “the one”, marriage (eep) and all that stuff, but I do generally have a good understanding of people and how they work. I think that perhaps people say sex is better with someone they love, because that’s how it’s supposed to be. Everything is better when you love someone isn’t it? The world’s ending tomorrow you say? Well that’s OK, because I get to die with the missus screaming in my ear. Yeah. Maybe not. If you love someone, and they love you, I imagine it makes you feel more confident, more free, more safe… more able to enjoy things. Or maybe it’s simply because when you’re in love, you get married, have kids and only have sex twice a year which makes even a shit shag seem like the best night ever.

I don’t think sex has anything to do with love. I think emotions control everything in our lives to a degree, but I don’t think it’s going to make you climax better or ensure you have multiple orgasms rather than a dull old short one. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s all about chemistry, not whether you can see yourself walking down the aisle in a fluffy white dress. Anyway, chances are if you’re thinking about stuff like that whilst having sex you’re only thinking it’s amazing because you’re dreaming about silverware and cappuccino machines.

Sil, x

Vote for Change

April 22, 2010

Clegg: Size matters. Well at least his jokes are funny aren’t they? I have to admit that thus far, which is only twenty minutes in, my opinions remains that Clegg remains the better of the three. Cameron continues to spend his time having a go at both Brown and Clegg, whilst Brown alternates between defending himself and talking up his opponent in Clegg. It seems Brown may have partly given up on the election and is thinking he would rather have a Lib Dem government than take a “vote for change”.

Now lets take a second and think about the Conservative slogan, “Vote for Change.” Living in a Conservative constituency I would like to warn the people who think that this change is supposed to be a good thing. My MP is someone very high up in the Conservative Party, he holds a lot of power and is generally well liked within his party. He’s also is well known for putting his friends ahead, often paying contractors friendly to his party much more (at one point up to twice) of what was quoted by other independent contractors. He has one of the lowest, if not the lowest expense bill from the last tax year, which sounds good doesn’t it? Except you would struggle to find an MP whose salary is higher or close to that of his. His local conscience doesn’t stretch beyond those who vote for him, despite claiming he is there for his whole constituency. Oh and he’s a prat. So lets recap; bent, spends government money on quotes that benefit him rather than the local borough, has not improved policing, which has instead became worse whilst crime is on the rise both in serious violence as well as drugs. That the change you would like? Get rid of one government you’re unhappy with to replace it with a bunch of slimy, bent career criminals. Yes I realise that they are not convicted criminals, but in the manner which they run my borough, and the manner in which they will run the country will be criminal, and once again it will be those of us who do not make the top money, who cannot afford private health care and do not spend our weekends at the Country Club who will suffer.

So people, don’t get fooled by Cameron and his face which looks much like Eyjafjallajokull mid volcanic eruption, you will not be voting for change. You’ll just doom your country, and you will be wishing a volcano would come up and swallow our country whole.

Sil, x

Clegg to fall apart?

April 22, 2010

So being the socially conscious girl that I am (I DO think about things besides sex people, hint read my other blogs too you perverts) of course I had to watch the Electoral debate last week. I have to admit I was pretty impressed with what I saw, especially from the Liberal Democrat leader, Nick Clegg. I know I have mentioned him before concluding that “It’s like PE class all over again isn’t it, no one is going to pick the silent geek in the back for their team, hell even his friends tend to struggle to remember who is some of the time.” Well Clegg, last Thursday you proved me wrong and the next time I’m playing football, I will make sure I pick you first.

Now I’m not going to get into a lengthy discussion on policies, promises and politics, mainly because I like to keep my blogs somewhat short. Plus I’d have to talk about Cameron to some extent and mentioning his name alone is enough to make me throw up a little in my mouth.

When watching the debate last Thursday I found it very strange how the colours of the Party Leaders’ ties seemed to be great representatives of how the three men of the moment managed their first live, televised debate. Brown’s pink tie was a pretty good image for the soft man that was portrayed. Despite at one point getting a good dig in against Cameron (which I am all for), Brown came across weak and pale, much like his tie, and his performance became worse as his tie went further and further away from the middle point. Now I realised one shouldn’t judge a politician purely on appearance, but if Brown cannot even keep his tie in the right place (and it was already crooked at the start of the debate) how is he supposed to manage another five years in charge of a country that he has already let down on several occasions? Plus, I’m pretty sure that the way he was going on, Brown himself would not vote for Labour, but instead give his vote to Clegg and the Liberal Democrats, for whom he seemed to develope more and more love.

Cameron. Oh Dave, you really are a twat. Firstly, your performance last week was horrendous. Not only did you fall apart answering questions, your face turning red with the stress you were seemingly under (Brown looked calmer than you, that’s not a good thing), but your baby blue tie, rather than give you youthful charm, enhanced your juvenile behaviour of jumping on everyone else rather than defending your own policies with even an ounce of conviction. And you have yet to stop. I really wish that politicians would realise that perhaps winning an election would be better done by talking about your policies and stick to the promises you make, or at least try to, rather than do nothing but badmouthing your opponents because you have no faith you can win in any other way.

I was very impressed with Nick Clegg last week, his golden tie was a lovely image for him becoming the golden boy after his brilliant performance on last week’s debate. Although I was prepared to say that I would love to vote for Clegg based on the tie alone (I really loved the tie, I’m weird like that), I have to admit I am very curious to see if Clegg keeps up his performance tonight, especially as he will be facing some very tough questions in regards to the latest accusations in regards to Lib Dem party donations going through his bank account. Although I admit that Clegg and his party still lack the national support to have a chance at winning the election, it would if nothing else make the next few weeks exciting if he can build on his performance and put his stamp on the race rather than leaving it to be a two man marathon heading for disaster (also known as a hung parliament).

For the record, Cameron believes that a hung parliament will lead to economic disaster and quite possibly another Vulcano outbreak which will eventually lead to the end of the world. Well if he’s that worried about our future, he could always drop out of the race and save us that way rather than attempting to scare people into voting for him.

Sil, x


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